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Stop Comparing Your Trauma

10/21/2019

2 Comments

 
Picture
Contributed by Tonya Jansen, LMHCP

Within my practice, I often have clients who minimize their traumatic experiences when comparing themselves to people they read about in the news headlines.  It is always dangerous to compare ourselves to others because we will never be the best or the worst in a subjective category, but it is particularly detrimental when it comes to trauma.  And there are two reasons why:
  1. There are “little T’s” and “big T’s”
  2. Trauma is cumulative
“Big T’s” are often considered rape, incest, and assaults, where life-threatening injuries are reasonably assumed.  “Little T’s” are more commonly non-life threatening injuries, bullying, harassment, emotional abuse, and attachment wounds.  “Big T’s” are less common and contribute to feelings of isolation, whereas “Little T’s” are more common and may occur repeatedly throughout a person’s life.  If we compare rape to a single episode of bullying on a schoolyard playground, a majority of the population would agree that the rape would be far more traumatic than the playground example.  This is why the second point is so important to understand.

Research has demonstrated that trauma is cumulative.  This means that repeated exposures to “Little T” traumas can have significantly greater symptoms over a person’s lifetime.  Any trauma as a single incident is less likely to cause chronic mental health issues than repeated negative experiences.  In short, one “Big T” may have the same mental health impact as multiple “Little Ts”.  A “Little T” trauma may have more impact upon an individual than a trauma that occurred years earlier.   Failing to address the emotional suffering of any traumatic event may lead to cumulative damage over time.  Older people are naturally more likely to have a history of “Little T” trauma because they have lived longer, therefore creating more vulnerability to trauma-related symptoms.  Trauma exposure has a cumulative effect on anxiety, depression, suicidality, psychosis, dissociation and other trauma symptoms. 
​
Let’s put together an example of this. If you have experienced an absent parent, bullying at work or school, and serious illness in life, it is valid to connect your mental illness struggles with your life experiences.  You cannot set your experiences beside another person’s trauma and determine which person is more “worthy” of trauma-related symptoms or therapy.  Minimizing the emotional suffering of any event does not remove the cumulative damage that occurs over time.  Your story matters.  

2 Comments
Anees link
5/15/2020 06:07:03 am

There are pains and situations that paralyze or prevent you from enjoying life fully. In this article, there are certain techniques on how to overcome traumatic experiences and bad times and live fully.

There are traumatic memories and situations that hinder us or prevent us from enjoying our life. But does this feeling have to be definitive? Should we get used to it and continue our life like this? We are able to overcome what has hurt us so much or help those who suffer to overcome it.

Reply
Jody A Sollazzo
12/2/2020 04:41:10 pm

Thank you for this. I'm going to send it to a client.

Reply



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Our Mission: MOSAIC FAMILY Counseling Center Inc. is the center of excellence in supporting the healing of life's challenges. Our Vision: We strive to provide holistic, nurturing and consistent therapeutic services to make meaningful connections. We support growth and change while being culturally responsive in a safe and comfortable environment that encourages others to become autonomous and successful.
MOSAIC FAMILY Counseling Center Inc.  • 6200 Aurora Ave, Suite 305E  • Urbandale, IA 50322
515.724.8920 P  •  888.771.3225 F  •  info@mosaicfamilyinc.com
  • About
  • COVID-19
  • Our Family
  • Services
    • Psychotherapy Options
    • Telehealth
    • Telehealth en español
    • Groups
    • School Based Mental Health
    • Student Assistance Program
    • Assessments
    • Services for Professionals
    • Supervised Visitation & Parent Services
  • Rocha Consulting & Training
  • Interact with us
    • Our Blog
    • Request an Appointment
    • Helpful Forms
    • Privacy Policies
    • Helpful Links
    • Positions Available
    • Insurance/Forms of Payment
  • Staff Only
    • MFCC Orientation
  • Continuing Education