Attitude of Gratitude
It sounds like a cliché, but it is so true. When you have an overlaying focus on the things you have instead of the things you don't have, gratitude becomes a fulfilling feeling. You are happier and calmer, you notice the good things and negativity melts away. I find I am so busy and caught up in the details of what I have to do in life that I pay so little attention to the things I have or what I have actually accomplished. I am always trying to achieve the next goal or get done what has to be done. I don't pay attention to myself or my surroundings.
When I slow down (on days like today), I have this overwhelming sense of gratitude which gives me an attitude of humble thanks for what is in my world.
I make a note to self, "pay more attention to the goodness I have in my life."
TIP: In your mind, see a box that can hold all the other thoughts and ideas that roam your busy mind. Then spend a few minutes thinking about all your blessings, friends, home, family, health, good food, experiences when you laughed, the luxury of your shower, the smells of your shampoo, the sun, the grass, music, movies you get to enjoy, your education, your work and leisure time... the list could be endless and contain the smallest things. No matter what you have to be grateful for, it is what has brought you to this moment just as much, if not more than any other experience you have had in your life. Smile today and celebrate your life!
This is a great resourcing process that I routinely use with clients for skill building as well as affect management and increasing the sense of safety. Resources are the development of the essence of who or what represents (real or imagined representation) of nurturing or love, (ie: teddy bear, my grandparent), protection (ie: blanket, figure of armor) and wisdom (ie: Owl, Library or an old teacher) and a conflict free image of nature (ie: beach, meadow, forest, garden, waterfall etc...) These are resources you insert in the guided imagery. You can work on these with your therapist.
Guided Imagery with Resources
[First]…”Breathe extremely slowly for about 5 breaths … Concentrate on [your] breathing and the muscles [you] are using…Loosen up [your] shoulders and neck, face [and so on] as [you] breathe. …Breathe in and out about 30 seconds without speaking much. …Do not use [your] muscles for exhalation and …let the air ‘whoosh’ out a couple of times. [Now]… breathe regularly…
“Imagine yourself on a sidewalk, no shoes, with green grass all around you for as far as you can see… the sidewalk is warm and there is a warm breeze that feels nice on your face and in your hair. You feel comfortable and notice the rough cement on the bottom of your feet. Off to the right is a line of trees that the sidewalk winds around to… imagine you walking along this sidewalk toward the line of trees…, you feel nice and content and curious about them. As you get closer you can see there is an opening in the trees, there is a natural arch made by the trees that opens to a corridor. You continue walking toward the corridor feeling warm and peaceful with each step.
As you come closer to the opening you stand and look for a moment, noticing the intricacies around you. There are beautiful flowering trees with a wonderful fragrance of your favorite flowers and colors… you step closer and notice the change in the temperature in the air around you and the cool feel of the earth under your feet. You begin to walk with a lighter step feeling wonderful… it feels safe and you are calm… the sun sprinkles on you through the trees above you… breathing in the smells around you and feeling peaceful… you come to the end of the corridor that opens up to a beautiful meadow with tall green grasses, and wild flowers.
Directly in front of you in the near distance is a huge oak tree with a giant trunk…. To the right you hear the sound of a stream…; curious, you walk toward the sound and see a comfortable bench with a pile of pebbles next to it… You sit for a moment watching the stream as it flows slowly by… feeling comfortable and safe…. You reach down to pick up a pebble and toss it in, seeing the water splash… you can smell the clean water mixed with a hint of lilac from the bushes that are placed on the opposite bank of the stream.
You look up and slightly to the left and see the top of a large hill… walking down river in the grass you can feel the soft cool grass under your feet… the sun is shining on your face and it feels nice… you come to a nice sturdy bridge that crosses the stream, leading to a path up the hill and you follow it… going up feeling the muscles you use in your legs and the breath in your lungs, it does not tire you… it makes you feel free, climbing higher and higher you feel safe and a little excited to get to the top….
You come to a natural stairway on the side, leading around toward an opening to a beautiful waterfall…, the sound is melodic and the view is beautiful… you take it in and enjoy it…, there is a natural ledge that is cut into the side of the hill where you can sit and view as the water falls into the opening small lake of water that is so blue and clear you can see everything in it….
You sit and enjoy the view, you feel safe and warm, comfortable and content….. This is a place you can ask yourself any question and trust the answer you hear to be true….. You may ask yourself a question here if you wish… just accept the answer….. The spirit of [wisdom figure] is here with you lending you all its strength and power…. You know you will walk away a little wiser today from this spot, you know you can come here anytime as it belongs to only you……
You walk back down the hill feeling lighter in your step with a smile on your face, holding on to the wisdom you have gained………….. you reach the bottom of the hill that opens back to the meadow…… you decide to walk over to the huge oak tree…… as you get closer you can see the door that opens into the tree….. You walk over the threshold into this safe place….
The spirit of [the protective figure] is with you very strongly…… the room you walk into is of perfect proportions with all your favorite things…, there are many rooms…; you walk back passing the rooms that are filled with all the comforts of home…, this feels safe and inviting, warm and comforting….. You walk all the way back to the last room at the back of the tree, a room with a door….. You open the door and find a box inside that looks sturdy and strong….
This box is not too huge and not too small, you open the box and find it is empty…, you begin to put all your concerns in this box, anything that bothers you, makes you afraid or sad….. This box is never full…. No matter how much you put in it. You know this is ok and the box will always be here, you know where to find the box and can take one thing out at a time to deal with it as you are ready…. You complete and put all of your concerns in the box and close the lid…
You search your pockets and find the key, you have the only key and the key can never be lost… it is yours and you may use it whenever you want…… you feel lighter and more in control of things today…. You are happier and enjoy looking at every room in your special place….. You walk back through the tree reaching the threshold and walk through to the outside….
The door closes and as you turn away from the tree, the door disappears…, keeping it your secret place, the door reappears when you need it to….. there is a garden full of your favorite flowers and plants… you go visit this garden familiarizing yourself with this place…, you feel loved and warm with the spirit of [nurturing figure] here with you,… warming your heart and feeling complete acceptance from this place and the spirits of your resource team around you…. You will carry this with you always, knowing that they truly belong to you…You feel so good and happy, peaceful, secure and confident today…..
You will be able to access these feelings and the knowledge that you are good when you need them….. Breathing deeply you begin to walk back toward the corridor that leads to the sidewalk…, taking your time passing the trees and feeling the cool temperatures and earth below your feet………. Reaching the sidewalk and noticing the increase in the warmth on your skin with the sun, the smells of the grass as you walk back toward where you began…You feel lighter, safe and protected,… wise and trustworthy,… content, peaceful,… secure and confident, loved and cared for…… happy……owning these feelings and taking them with you today and all week….Take a few more deep breaths and come back to the room as you are ready.”
This one takes about 20-30 minutes and is meant for skill building.
How wonderful for spring to be here finally! We often begin to feel better when spring comes around. It is such a relief from the snow!
It is important to remember your self care during the weather transitions!
Longer days and more sun can provoke you to focus on getting more done instead of slowing down. Being too busy keeps us from following through on much needed self care.
Remember to put some good, comfortable shoes on and go for a walk at least once a week. Use it as time to spend with a child, your significant other, a friend or just yourself. I often go alone and listen to a good book or use the time to 'think'.
Walking is also Bi-lateral stimulation (used in EMDR therapy). Bi Lateral stimulation can help with reorganizing your belief system to being more positive. Walking can help you resolve many different things that may be on your mind. It will help your logical and emotional brain link up easier. If you are having a difficult time taking care of yourself, call us and let us help you deal with the challenges you have.
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